I am amazed. I survived today, this past week and this past month without falling into an emotional hyperventilating heap over the anniversary of the death of my dearest friend five years ago.
I am used to death. I've worked as a palliative care nurse and have washed dozens of lifeless bodies. I realise that we don't belong here on this earth and that our true home is heaven. When Beck died I knew that this knowledge and experience that I had would help in some way; but each year as January came around I found myself locked away in the bathroom crying in hysterics over how I miss her dearly.
This year has been different. Maybe it is because I have a 12 week old baby to keep the sadness at bay or maybe I have just come to accept that she is gone. It does feels good though.
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